FIGHT AGAINST AIDS. . .

Tragedies have come through the years but nothing has taken over as the HIV/AIDS epidemic. For every 1 person having sex at a given second, 1.8 lives are lost to HIV/AIDS. Are people even aware that AIDS stands for “Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome”? Do people know that a person can live years with the virus, but not have contracted AIDS? How is it possible that in this day and age one of the world’s top killers still does not get the adequate attention that it should?

How can people still live their lives in such disregard by not practicing safe sex? How can people put their lives as well as the lives of others on a balance by being promiscuous? Each and every one of us has either known a relative, friend, or acquaintance or even heard about a stranger who has lost their life to HIV/AIDS. I can speak first hand on how painful it is to watch someone lose their very existence. Come from a healthy, active person, to a frail child-like vessel without an ounce of strength to lift up their hand and eat: to wither away to a state of nothingness.

In a world overwhelmed with sex, there seems to be a discord between the euphoric feelings and sensations that lead people to being sexually active, and the heart wrenching deterioration of him/her that becomes an AIDS victim. I feel it is the responsibility of each and every one of us to know our status. And from there actively advocate for safe sex and awareness of HIV/AIDS. We talk about being the generation of change, why then can we not change the fate we are headed for, by becoming a part of the solution rather than the means for the cause!? World AIDS day is December 1st, and yes whilst not all of us believe in going out and standing up for a cause through community service, each can make a personal pledge to get tested, know their status and wrap it up! Elizabeth Taylor said, “It is bad enough people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance.” So I challenge everyone, to be safer, to be wiser and to be an active member in this fight against AIDS.

What is this. . .

Lingering eye contact, hand holding, kisses on the cheek, tongue kissing, why is our world so consumed by sex. My friend and I were talking about how relationships seem to be the new fashion accessory, and everyone “is rocking” it. However, as we all know just because something is in fashion does not mean that EVERYONE should be trying it. I mean, we all know there are some people who have no business wearing low cut shirts, strapless clothes, and skinny jeans even are not for everyone, period. And this latest fashion accessory, “relationships” is not for everyone either. Sometimes, when it works its like those perfect pair of shoes that complete an outfit, HOWEVER, sometimes its like that awkward bright pink shirt that that manly dude should just not be wearing. It seems like somehow, someway people just decided to stop with standards and expectations and have straight up lost it.



Females have thrown away the aspect of class, and clearly some misunderstand the meaning of sexy and sassy. Every guy has become an option when we know that aint how it should be. There is no need to be an ignorant trick to get yours, and lately that is all I see. It seems like the sluttier and less educated the women are the more guys they attract, and sadly now that every other Jane has caught onto this, we see an influx of less smart slutty Jane infiltrating the scene. I mean, I am not sitting here saying don’t be a slut if that’s what you feel is in your spirit, but don’t do it to do it.


Then my dear black men. What is going on? Since when was a female meant to bend over backwards to impress you and you do not show no kind of appreciation. I am so sick of hearing, “COME SEE ME!” “WHEN YOU COMING TO KICK IT WITH ME” “WHEN ARE YOU….” Well let me just answer every question that begins with “when are you….” Ummmm NEVER! Did you miss the lesson when they told you your woman is your heart, your support, and you should treat her as you would want someone to treat your mother? The woman is meant to be chased period. I understand not every woman appreciates that but come on now, let her tell her that aint what she into…Don’t assume! Obviously, lots of y’all missed that lesson cause women are walking around bruised, battered and broken. That is simply NOT a good look. What happened to good old respect for each other, love and compassion, commitment and fun. A relationship is not a 9-5, it’s a support system that you chose to be a part of so don’t act like you got forced into it… I’m just saying…

In my mind...

Every once in a while, I believe we go through moments where we are forced to STOP, and see that each moment that we alive is a blessing; a gift. Those moments of clarity have you feeling so incredibly drained because the emotion is seeping through you from all angles gushing through your veins like an open wound. Consuming your every thought like a poisonous fume. Unrelenting. I just recently understood that, indeed, life is a series of moments and those moments turn into events, and once that moment has passed, there is no turning back and try get it back. So why do we exert so much energy trying to relive the moment that happened a moment ago, and why do we not realize we are losing this moment and letting it turn into a memory when we denied ourselves the option to live it. I have woken up to a newness, a new attitude to life, a person that is not in search of friendships but rather appreciates the true ones that she has. I am no longer feeling lost, nor am I feeling lonely, because I am not a single being, and I am not lost because through this journey I never walk alone. I can’t expect a change in the people that I let into my life If I do not take responsibility for the part that I am the one letting randoms into it. I am too wise to let people that I believe are my friends hold me back, I am too confident to let people try bring me down. I am on a mission, I can succeed, and the Lord knows I will because I have already accomplished, I have already achieved. I am tired of caring too much, and yet exhausted by my lack of emotion. I feel like a walking contradiction, a piece of jumbled art. I no longer want to want. I no longer have a desire to need, rather a drive to BECOME envelops me, and takes over my entire being. I am a vessel, and my purpose will be realized. I no longer care to just exist, I choose to live.

WHAT...WHAT....WHAT....

So y'all should already know I blog when something is on my mind! And YESSS.....something is on my mind!!! K, so foreal tho...first T.I and now they tryin to put my Wayne in JAIL! man....I mean do we not have real problems? Excuse me Mr. Sherriff sir that arrested Lil Wayne on that bus incident in New York in 2007, have you found Osama Bin Laden???? No??? You haven??? Oh right, you were busy looking for "illegal substances" in Wayne's bus! k K K....I own the fact that YES, he shoulda ben not had a gun on the bus, but DID ANYONE die??? IM COOL! All my friends and Family are cool, Lil wayne aint shoot none of them! So WHATS THE PROBLEM! (And if he did it was probably cause they were in his way)
I am not angry and disgruntled as I was before because I realize that Weezy is going to channel all his emotions into his music and is going to leave us with a mixtape each month of his jail term. WHAT! y'all can't stop greatness.....

Im just saying!!!!

Man... What's going on?

I MEAN… what is going on! My heart is heavy and tired, and I aint even going through anything personally and yet I’m going through everything! It jus dawned on me as I sat watching the news that in the last several months I have found myself sending my condolences to countless people. And over the same time frame, condolences have been offered to me! WHAT IS THIS????? I am 22 years old and I do not remember a time other than now where the phrase “tomorrow is never promised” falls as true as it does now. One day people are here, the next day they are gone. One moment, you are on the phone with someone and the next your phone is ringing with news that they passed. One second you’re sharing a joke with someone and the next you are hugging their mom and trying to figure out the how, when and the why you just laid them to rest. I know I have blogged about this before but damn…. Death is real, and it’s become more and more apparent!!!!!

And what is this violence that overwhelms society. And I’m not even going to spin this and make this a racial issue cause, everyone is a victim. The story about Derrion Albert is the most recent. This boy was beaten senseless and died for what reason?! By his peers? Really? What makes it ok for someone to wake up angry and decide to take another’s life? There is nothing cool about that! There is nothing that shouts out HERO in that action. Why are people being shot left right and center? I MEAN DAMN… what’s going on. As though AIDS and diabetes needed help killing off the masses!

My heart aches at the fact that every good action is contended by several bad ones. Bad choices, Ignorant minds flood our very own society. And yet we the “sane” ones sit, read the stories, shake our heads, and click over to the entertainment pages to find out about the Odom-Kardashian wedding!!!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON??????

SMH…. My heart aches!

iTune You...

SO…. I realized I have been fooling you all…. BECAUSE…..


I am in love and his name is music. Music understands me, enables me, supports me, drives me, basically what I’m trying to say is my love for music is definitely that special type of love. This is one of those loves that if it were to be lost would require extensive therapy because I know my life will no longer be, the life I lead for it revolves around my music. Love or obsession, I wonder, for it is my centrifugal force, my pivot, my shelter, my armor, my muse, the creator of my swag. Music is everything I need, because it takes me as I am and does not care whether I sing like an angel or am as tone deaf as a rabbit. Music is my best friend, my confidant, my inspiration, and my unfailing love. Through all my many bipolar motions, my twists and turns that this journey through life takes me, the only earthly element that allows me to figure myself out, and gives me the strength to evaluate my inner self is… music. Music is rough, raw and real when I need it to be. This brings out the strength in me, the Tatenda that I am not afraid to show. But it also elevates me to a point where I feel as though I’m near divinity, and in the presence of holiness. Which leads to the softer and more creative side that cries and yearns to be understood . The side the rest of the world will probably never fully comprehend.


 Music for me fills in my blanks…the words I’m either unable or afraid to speak, I can always find a song to replace these lapses with. I have a friend that teases me and tells me all the time that I am a walking music library, because I think through music. I live through music. Each statement in my daily conversations triggers the thought of a song. My step is always in synch with the beat in my head. Be it when my head is bowed down and my walk is sluggish, or when I’m at my best and my walk is fully loaded… music walks with me. My most beloved memories have a soundtrack, my first kiss, the moment I realized I was in love, (actually both instances) all replay to the music in my heart.


Music is that source of light that allows my collage of life to shine and glow. It is my harmony in a world full of discord. The freedom giver in a time where we all seem to be held by some kind of social shackle. One of my favorite quotes is by Berthold Auerbach a German – Jewish poet, he says “Music washes away from the soul, the dust of everyday life.” Be it the dust from some type of failure, disappointment or any kind of adversity that leads to heartbreak. But it also is the sunshine, the kindness, the sincerity that leads to the fondest of memories.


So hear my declaration one more time, I am in love….and his name is …Music.

here's to you...

Silence overwhelms me…. And that probably explains my fear of death. To never speak another word, to never be heard again. As I grow older, death has become more and more a part of my life….and each time I feel it creep closer and closer to me. I feel like I am living on borrowed time. I love so fiercely and fervently that part of my fear when faced with the reality of death is the idea that I will leave a loved one in pain. Someone will feel the loss that I have felt much too often when someone I love is taken much too soon. The physical pain that rips at my heart is the most undeserving feeling I have yet known to feel. To fully explain would take too long because the words I could never accurately find.



As far back as I remember I have been haunted by this one dream. There I stand looking over my own lifeless body. The wind blowing leaves all over the place and nothing looks familiar to me. Confused, unaware, numbed by disbelief. I stare at my own face. Then somewhere in the distance, I hear my mom’s sweet voice singing. I frantically search for her, worried that some harm has come to her. I pass a clearing and there she is bent over my very own motionless body. My mom is knelt over me, tears streaming down her face and yet her voice is calm and unfaltering and betrays the overwhelming look of desolation painted on her face. She has obviously just lost her youngest offspring, her daughter, her friend, and still her strength refuses to fail her. My father stands over her, his head bowed down, and yet still from where I stand I can see the anguish in his eyes, utter pain. My mouth moves and my head yells that I am ok, but no audible words escape my quivering lips. I am perplexed by disbelief. I look to see if I can recognize some faces in the crowd that stands around my parents. It’s my family and friends and I can feel my own heart shatter as I see and hear them weep for me as my mom leads them in song.


If I was to fall off the side of a cliff, and I am hanging on, will there be someone there to help me up? What will people say about me when I pass? What will people remember about me? Will people miss my presence? And will my memories last through several decades or will I be forgotten within a week? Have I loved selflessly? Am I loved undoubtedly?


I do not want to leave this here earth with regrets. I want to live every day of my life as though it were my last. So lately, I have been appreciating my friendships a little more, and, I think I am starting to realize that although REAL and TRUE friends are rare, I have people that support me. I have figured out the people we work so hard to impress are the ones that really aren’t worth impressing. True friends stay when the tough gets going and those that we usually work so hard to impress go when the tough times roll in. However, I am learning to look at both sides of every story. And I must sell the same product that I want to buy; hence this is my pledge to be a better friend. I’m going to love more aggressively, listen more passionately, and be a positive light in all my loved ones lives. I am going to nurture each relationship in my life so if the Lord takes either me or one of them unexpectedly, I won’t cry for words and feelings that went unshared. But rather rejoice for the time that was shared and appreciated. As always, I leave you with a quote, and this one is from Maria Robinson, she said “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”