Blessings and Mercy. . .

Can not imagine being in Haiti, in the midst of all the destruction and what seems to be the gateway to hell. Raw footage I have seen saddens me, the thought of the pain the disaster has caused troubles, and the fact that in terms of comforting those bereaved I'm powerless angers me. Maybe I internalize things that I should not way too often, but I know the pain I felt when really sad situations occurred. I know the anger and pain I felt when I found out that someone close to me had passed without warning, and without as much as an explanation. I also know the frustration of seeing someone needing me, and me being powerless. I text to the place where i can make a donation.But what is my tiny bit of a contribution going to do? So all I know how to do is go back to basics and offer my thoughts, and prayers to those in Haiti:
May the world, come together and as one entity be of aid to the innocent victims who have had their world turned upside down in a matter of minutes. May the citizens be granted aid, that will begin to pacify the frantic, heal the injured, assist the confused, and administer to the weary. To the mother who lays crying over the body of her deceased childor to the child who lays somewhere terrified, no longer crying and simply wondering why his mother simply lies there and does not reach to him when he cries, may they too find solace in the hands of the able.
Words can not in any way make things better but I pray that we may  be moved to become ONE world, and  not many nations, so when things like this happen the issue is not how to provide  for the situation, but rather not enough transportation to take over the supplies necessary and the people required.
Bless Haiti, and all those that have experienced such mass devastation.

Psalm 39: 12-13 "Hear my prayers Lord, Listen to my cries for help. Don't ignore my tears. Spare me so I can smile again."

raw footage: http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhd4jO2LN3U8fO98Fz

dzue's experiment on the workings of a black girls mind

I've been in class for approximately 9 and 1/2 mins and my teacher is showing us family portraits (WTF)! Since I am clearly not interested, I decided to step out of my finance major and take up sociology for a couple of minutes: I conducted a dzue experiment.

QUESTION: Are black girls natural born haters

BACKGROUND: I'm sitting in a large lecture hall somewhere in the back(but still in the class)  It's a junior and above class so by now, most of us know at least one person in class-nothing race specific about this, simply a fact!!But sometimes, people don't and this is where things get interesting with the black girl population and thus begins my experiment. We(black girls) walk in, do a quick look over to see whether a familiar face is already seated, and if not proceed on taking a seat near someone that we acknowledged as an "interest point".

METHOD: I'll pick on the girl that just walked in and use her as an example for those that have no clue what I am talking about. She is cute, well put together and clearly has that oh so black mentality(that I lo-key posess too cause the fact that she was cute is irrelevant). So, I play girl B and my familiar face is already sitting next to me, and he(for results of experiments sake) is black. So girl walks in, looks at me and (does the quick hater sweep, as I do the same) proceeds to sit in the row right in front of me. Lost at what the big deal is....let me break it down!

ANALYSIS:

•  Girl A walks in finds no familiar face, so proceeds to next best thing another black girl with the same kind of characteristics.(In this case we both wearing loud bracelets and same type of 'i'm not here to make friends' look)
• Girl B acknowledges girl by holding a look then looking at seat infront of her to say it was ok.
• Girl A sits infront of Girl B without a word
• Both girls know within 1 or 2 classes they could possibly have exchanged numbers. Just not today, cause those are just not rules of black girl engagement.

RESULTS: The reason I single out black girls is cause black guys don't care, they just look for the girl that they are most attracted to and sit in noticeable distance. White girls seem to walk in and instantly start talking to whoever lands next to them, and the white guys in class always seem to have a girlfriend so they are void from my theory. We, black girls seem to have a chip that says assess the next girl gauge how much competition she'll be and stay close. You'll either talk to her, and if you don't at least she'll know you there.

CONCLUSION: Black girls are natural haters and we don't mean to, it simply is

Tigers' moods!!!!!

Yesterday I walked into a golf store, and was walking around, looking around when i realized, something was different! The life size posters of Tiger Woods were down, and in his place was some other dude! and I may not know a lot about golf, but I know Tiger Woods was the face of Nike.... well should I say was!
 I am in NO way trying to say having 14 jump-offs was a good thing to do but HELLO... have we not forgotten that point blank and period, Tiger Woods was beyond ridiculous when it comes to golfing. That man, did things on that golf course that many people could ever hope to achieve. And as usual when he was "happily married" and living a nice and quiet life, we all applauded his achievements.
I am starting to think the problem is society. I mean, we hold these celebrities in such high regard, and put them on a "beyond human" platform, forcing these EXTREMELY human individuals to become 'super-humans'. I'm saying, Tiger's wife probably knew what kind of man he was when they got together. I do not think this extremely "perfect" man woke up and decided...YES I am going to break this oh so perfect life I have and begin cheating today! ummm NO, this dude BEN cheating! and his wife KNEW this. They always do, Kobe's wife knew, Shaq's wife knew, Federer's wife will know and believe me, Tiger's wife had to have known.
So back to my point, why is it that we let our personal feelings ruin something that does not concern us. Tiger Woods to me, was a golfer. Nothing more nothing less. If I flipped the channel to PGA golf it was not to see anything beyond this man put in work on the golf course.
So I say, yes.... the man messed up big time. But all this business about dropping endorsements and saying how bad a dude this dude was is ridiculous. I don't care if Tiger was once a woman, he is what he is, human. So how about people start reporting about things that matter, let Tiger play so we can enjoy watching his brilliance and let him figure out his demons.
On to the next one PLEASE!

I mean. . . stop tryna make me mad GET IT TOGETHER

Quite frankly, in 2010, people took president Obama's inaugaration and message of hope the completely wrong way. This was not an "all clear" for everybody to start acting a fool.


#1: It is simply NOT OK, for guys to be wearing skinny jeans. I don't get care if you created jerkin or you come from a long line of tight wearing men, it just aint cute. That being said, we don't want to see your ENTIRE ass, that is NOT OK either. So gents, get it together and find a happy median!


#2: It was never cool and is less cool now to be walking around bragging about being a player! It is not cute, it makes no sense, and why on earth can't you get your mind right. If you don't wanna be in a relationship don't if you do STAY FOCUSED!


#3: We live in a texting generation, learn some texting etiquette. The general rule is if you going to text, make sure you have something to talk about  "Hi" simply wont cut it, and how many 3 text conversations can 2 individuals have a day! GET IT TOGETHER Folks


#4: Speaking of texting, asking for pics is simply sooooo high school. I mean DANG! It's annoying and its tacky and if a person wants to send pictures they will... Stop begging!


#5: Stop waiting around for things to happen to you. Make things happen. Each moment leads forward to the next, never backwards to the last. So stop wasting time, get your head screwed on right and work for what you want.


#6: Leading from my last, if you still decide you wanna sit around and wait, sit in a corner where you are not in any one's way. People worse than those that decide to sit around and wait, are those that sit and block other people's  way. Not handling yours does not mean I don't want to handle mine.MOVE!


#7: By golly let it go. Whatever chip you have on your shoulder is not worth it. I'm still learning but letting go of some things is the greatest freedom you can give yourself.BE FREE


#8: Stay true to  you. The more honest you are with you the more honest you can be with people around you. Yes you may be viewed as bitchy. But at least you are going to be an honest one! LOL. Trying to be takes WWAAAYY more time than just being. SO BE.


#9: STOP TRIPPIN'! Life happens. Shit stanks but that don't mean the initial discomfort don't go away. But if you have a reason to trip, by all means... handle yours.

#10: Tomorrow is never promised. Live wisely. Love effortlessly. Learn profusely.

Ode to true friendship

Now that I have stopped complaining about all the sadness that surrounds my life, I feel enlightened! i am blessed with some of the greatest friends that I know without them, my life would not be what it is today.I would still be depressed, sad or confused. Through my hardest heartbreak, my friends strength gave me strength. So this blog is dedicated to those that know me better than I know myself sometimes, to those that have helped me grow into my own, and have shown me that with a little love and patience(hahaha Kass) all things are possible. The wind beneath the wings that allow me to soar and fly above...
Those closest to me, all have 3 qualities in common. First and foremost, honesty. There is nothing more refreshing than having someone in your life who is able to step back from the responses they know you want and give you the responses they know you need. A friend who knows knows when to nod and agree with your stupid suggestions such as torching your ex boyfriends car, and shaking you to come back to your senses when you claim you are sooo hungry you could eat an entire cow. (cause clearly only a good friend could know which one makes sense and which one doesnt) Second quality is 'syncness' if that is even a word. But honestly how many people in your lives do you not need to finish your every thought with. A person who when you are at your bitchiest does not hang up the phone but rather bitches back till you both hysterically laughing and you do not know why! And last but not least is trust. A true friendship requires that you love and trust someone completely that you would not second guess them with your hardest decisions, you call them without realizing and they are there even after the times you neglected them when you were all focused on your previous boyfriend.
I have many people in my life that could fall into 2 of 3 categories and only a few that possess all three. To those few that know what mood Im in by my hello, know im nervous based on what i order on the value menu, and know to give me space based on what is playing on my ipod, i want to say thank you. Thank you for being a part of my life and i hope i can be that friend that you are to me for eternity.

with love.... on christmas

If one more person says to me, “Seasons Greetings”, I might have to jump off the nearest 5 storey building. It is not that I am not happy that it’s the festive season , but what happened to the true meaning of Christmas. What Season am I getting greeted for, WINTER?? For me, It has become so commercial, so unrelated to what we are meant to be celebrating: The birth of Jesus! Holiday traffic is ridiculous and what is even worse is people are not going to church, but to the mall to PURCHASE something that they will give away as a gift, only because at Christmas that is what you do, give gifts. People that do not even believe in God, walking around ‘spreading holiday cheer’… but I ask FOR WHAT REASON! I remember growing up, in my family Christmas was the best time EVER not because I got presents, (Cause I hardly ever did, lol) but because it was a time I knew that my entire family would be together. It was the one time, we would all gather, sing songs on end and just appreciate the love we all shared as a family in a Christian home. I am not the BEST Christian in the world, I ask thousands of questions, and to some that have been answered to me I don’t like the answer. But I acknowledge that I am indeed, a child of God, and through all my faults, God walks with me, and never has given up on me, regardless of how mad I know I make him sometimes. For this unconditional love, I REFUSE to use such an important time for commercial use and gain. The gifts that I give will be out of love and respect, and the true value of Christmas, I will try focus on my growth through my journey to become a virtuous woman through my actions. I am not perfect, and not at all without sin, But I strive to believe and to appreciate that sacrifices were made, so I could walk this earth today.



So I wish you a Merry Christmas, and urge you to spend time with those that you love and to be a blessing onto others, as you would want them to be a blessing on you, because TOMORROW, is never promised.

Radom thoughts. . .

So this year is one of those years that I am not MAD to see end! I look back at 2009 with sadness, admiration and a sense of fulfillment. Sadness based on the fact that seeing the feelings that were inside me and the motions I went through would cause even the most unsympathetic person to be moved greatly. I believe in our lives, the Lord never tests us more than we can handle, but this year…. I felt like he had simply forgotten to turn off the “still testing Tatenda” button and he had it all the way up on the highest possible level. I felt a deep rooted feeling of loneliness that knew no bounds and was masked with the brightest smile, any angel could effortlessly provide. The admiration is based on that through everything, even the moments that were felt as though should be the last…there was a glimmer of hope that kept me functioning and allowed me to trudge through the dirt and onto the next. And last but not least the fulfillment, because now that I have cleansed myself of the self doubt the fear, and let go of the things that weighed heaviest on me, I realize I gave myself freedom. Freedom to believe in my potential.



It is crazy that in the centre of all the seriousness in our lives, an issue that everyone both loves and hates is that that deals with matters of the heart. I am no exception, as much as I do not care about much, when it comes to my feelings being hurt, I am not all smiles. I came to a realization though, and I may have already talked about this but like I said, I WAS THINKING: So many people have the “OR” factor and never the “AND”. By this I mean, so often people meet a certain aspect of what you feel you want but then lack in large part the other part. I’ll use my wants as an illustration. My “type” of guy is that dude, who is a dude. A man who is tough, not only looking but thinks tough. And I do not mean he is thinking of killing people, but rather possesses the complex rationale that has me intrigued and inspires me to elevate my thinking. The latter part of this year I have been living the life of a single young lady and half the guys that presented themselves either look as tough as I want them to, but lack that mental that is very important. I understand it is not a lacklessness in the guys that I meet, but that they are just not for me. In 2009 I realized that too often in my life I allow the not worthy aspects of my character and life get main attraction by dealing with the guys that do not elevate me but rather force me to stay stagnant or regress on the me that I was yesterday. Like Monica said, “I am not who I was yesterday” and therefore my pledge to myself, is that with each new breath that I take, I will do my hardest to make it as true to myself as I possibly can, and in so doing, be true to those that care about me. So here starts my countdown to 2010, to a better me…