My dear Love,
I know you love me, but why do you not like me? All my life you have been there, not necessarily with me at all times, but always somewhere humming and buzzing, so even though I may not have seen you, I knew you were there. As a child you cared for me, nurtured me and protected me from all the evils you could. But I do not blame you for the evils that seeped into my life.The evil took charge, you disappeared. I grasped for your love, and yet I was left alone….cold. The evils that haunt me stil caused me such pain and distress…. But my dear love, I do not blame you. I would have left me too.
My dear love, as I grew older you came to me in many forms. You loved me so! You helped me grow. Countless times I did not love you back, the times I took you for granted. Is that when you decided I wasn’t worthy of your trust. I know I hurt you but I wish I knew then what I know now. All I needed was your strong embrace around me at night. To protect me and guide me through all the things I was not prepared to face. I needed you and you were there, but I let you go. I reached out to you and you would reach out to me…. Until one day you did not reach back. My hand was left out in the cold, did you not love me back?
My dear love, how then can you blame me for not recognizing you when you came back to me. With no warning, you simply appeared. My knight on a silver cloud, my warmth on a cold dreary winter morning. The manifestation I had dreamt long and hard about, the ideology that one day I had hoped to meet. My whole life I had yearned for you. I had needed you so much before you would think I would have instantly acknowledged your presence, your genuineness, and your desire to be the one. But, your love overwhelmed me. Your sincerity consumed me. Why did you love Me? Why was it so easy for you to let me in, and why did you take the time to care for me. I was terrified but I embraced you. I loved you with everything I had in me. I let you in in channels of my mind, my soul, I thought were locked and sealed….. My dear love. I loved you.
But like when I was little, the outside percolated into our circle of trust. I thought you loved me enough to stick around… But you bolted. Again… my dear love you left me. Again I was left out in the cold. Again I was left wondering, why my dear love do you not like me? indeed ... Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.Each time you left me, a piece of me left with you. Each time you let me down, I lost a bit of me. But my dear love, I cannot wait around for you any longer. I cannot force you to love me when you clearly don’t like me in return. As a child you abandoned me, and now as a grown up you had me fooled and left me bleeding. I cannot let you slow me down anymore. My life is my very own rose garden, in the past I have let you in just as I began to blossom and because I was not strong enough I let you stifle my growth. I have learnt my lesson, and now I will not let you tear my petals off. Don’t look for me my dear love, I will call you when my rose garden is fully blossomed.
I know you love me, but why do you not like me? All my life you have been there, not necessarily with me at all times, but always somewhere humming and buzzing, so even though I may not have seen you, I knew you were there. As a child you cared for me, nurtured me and protected me from all the evils you could. But I do not blame you for the evils that seeped into my life.The evil took charge, you disappeared. I grasped for your love, and yet I was left alone….cold. The evils that haunt me stil caused me such pain and distress…. But my dear love, I do not blame you. I would have left me too.
My dear love, as I grew older you came to me in many forms. You loved me so! You helped me grow. Countless times I did not love you back, the times I took you for granted. Is that when you decided I wasn’t worthy of your trust. I know I hurt you but I wish I knew then what I know now. All I needed was your strong embrace around me at night. To protect me and guide me through all the things I was not prepared to face. I needed you and you were there, but I let you go. I reached out to you and you would reach out to me…. Until one day you did not reach back. My hand was left out in the cold, did you not love me back?
My dear love, how then can you blame me for not recognizing you when you came back to me. With no warning, you simply appeared. My knight on a silver cloud, my warmth on a cold dreary winter morning. The manifestation I had dreamt long and hard about, the ideology that one day I had hoped to meet. My whole life I had yearned for you. I had needed you so much before you would think I would have instantly acknowledged your presence, your genuineness, and your desire to be the one. But, your love overwhelmed me. Your sincerity consumed me. Why did you love Me? Why was it so easy for you to let me in, and why did you take the time to care for me. I was terrified but I embraced you. I loved you with everything I had in me. I let you in in channels of my mind, my soul, I thought were locked and sealed….. My dear love. I loved you.
But like when I was little, the outside percolated into our circle of trust. I thought you loved me enough to stick around… But you bolted. Again… my dear love you left me. Again I was left out in the cold. Again I was left wondering, why my dear love do you not like me? indeed ... Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.Each time you left me, a piece of me left with you. Each time you let me down, I lost a bit of me. But my dear love, I cannot wait around for you any longer. I cannot force you to love me when you clearly don’t like me in return. As a child you abandoned me, and now as a grown up you had me fooled and left me bleeding. I cannot let you slow me down anymore. My life is my very own rose garden, in the past I have let you in just as I began to blossom and because I was not strong enough I let you stifle my growth. I have learnt my lesson, and now I will not let you tear my petals off. Don’t look for me my dear love, I will call you when my rose garden is fully blossomed.
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