Ode to true friendship

Now that I have stopped complaining about all the sadness that surrounds my life, I feel enlightened! i am blessed with some of the greatest friends that I know without them, my life would not be what it is today.I would still be depressed, sad or confused. Through my hardest heartbreak, my friends strength gave me strength. So this blog is dedicated to those that know me better than I know myself sometimes, to those that have helped me grow into my own, and have shown me that with a little love and patience(hahaha Kass) all things are possible. The wind beneath the wings that allow me to soar and fly above...
Those closest to me, all have 3 qualities in common. First and foremost, honesty. There is nothing more refreshing than having someone in your life who is able to step back from the responses they know you want and give you the responses they know you need. A friend who knows knows when to nod and agree with your stupid suggestions such as torching your ex boyfriends car, and shaking you to come back to your senses when you claim you are sooo hungry you could eat an entire cow. (cause clearly only a good friend could know which one makes sense and which one doesnt) Second quality is 'syncness' if that is even a word. But honestly how many people in your lives do you not need to finish your every thought with. A person who when you are at your bitchiest does not hang up the phone but rather bitches back till you both hysterically laughing and you do not know why! And last but not least is trust. A true friendship requires that you love and trust someone completely that you would not second guess them with your hardest decisions, you call them without realizing and they are there even after the times you neglected them when you were all focused on your previous boyfriend.
I have many people in my life that could fall into 2 of 3 categories and only a few that possess all three. To those few that know what mood Im in by my hello, know im nervous based on what i order on the value menu, and know to give me space based on what is playing on my ipod, i want to say thank you. Thank you for being a part of my life and i hope i can be that friend that you are to me for eternity.

with love.... on christmas

If one more person says to me, “Seasons Greetings”, I might have to jump off the nearest 5 storey building. It is not that I am not happy that it’s the festive season , but what happened to the true meaning of Christmas. What Season am I getting greeted for, WINTER?? For me, It has become so commercial, so unrelated to what we are meant to be celebrating: The birth of Jesus! Holiday traffic is ridiculous and what is even worse is people are not going to church, but to the mall to PURCHASE something that they will give away as a gift, only because at Christmas that is what you do, give gifts. People that do not even believe in God, walking around ‘spreading holiday cheer’… but I ask FOR WHAT REASON! I remember growing up, in my family Christmas was the best time EVER not because I got presents, (Cause I hardly ever did, lol) but because it was a time I knew that my entire family would be together. It was the one time, we would all gather, sing songs on end and just appreciate the love we all shared as a family in a Christian home. I am not the BEST Christian in the world, I ask thousands of questions, and to some that have been answered to me I don’t like the answer. But I acknowledge that I am indeed, a child of God, and through all my faults, God walks with me, and never has given up on me, regardless of how mad I know I make him sometimes. For this unconditional love, I REFUSE to use such an important time for commercial use and gain. The gifts that I give will be out of love and respect, and the true value of Christmas, I will try focus on my growth through my journey to become a virtuous woman through my actions. I am not perfect, and not at all without sin, But I strive to believe and to appreciate that sacrifices were made, so I could walk this earth today.



So I wish you a Merry Christmas, and urge you to spend time with those that you love and to be a blessing onto others, as you would want them to be a blessing on you, because TOMORROW, is never promised.

Radom thoughts. . .

So this year is one of those years that I am not MAD to see end! I look back at 2009 with sadness, admiration and a sense of fulfillment. Sadness based on the fact that seeing the feelings that were inside me and the motions I went through would cause even the most unsympathetic person to be moved greatly. I believe in our lives, the Lord never tests us more than we can handle, but this year…. I felt like he had simply forgotten to turn off the “still testing Tatenda” button and he had it all the way up on the highest possible level. I felt a deep rooted feeling of loneliness that knew no bounds and was masked with the brightest smile, any angel could effortlessly provide. The admiration is based on that through everything, even the moments that were felt as though should be the last…there was a glimmer of hope that kept me functioning and allowed me to trudge through the dirt and onto the next. And last but not least the fulfillment, because now that I have cleansed myself of the self doubt the fear, and let go of the things that weighed heaviest on me, I realize I gave myself freedom. Freedom to believe in my potential.



It is crazy that in the centre of all the seriousness in our lives, an issue that everyone both loves and hates is that that deals with matters of the heart. I am no exception, as much as I do not care about much, when it comes to my feelings being hurt, I am not all smiles. I came to a realization though, and I may have already talked about this but like I said, I WAS THINKING: So many people have the “OR” factor and never the “AND”. By this I mean, so often people meet a certain aspect of what you feel you want but then lack in large part the other part. I’ll use my wants as an illustration. My “type” of guy is that dude, who is a dude. A man who is tough, not only looking but thinks tough. And I do not mean he is thinking of killing people, but rather possesses the complex rationale that has me intrigued and inspires me to elevate my thinking. The latter part of this year I have been living the life of a single young lady and half the guys that presented themselves either look as tough as I want them to, but lack that mental that is very important. I understand it is not a lacklessness in the guys that I meet, but that they are just not for me. In 2009 I realized that too often in my life I allow the not worthy aspects of my character and life get main attraction by dealing with the guys that do not elevate me but rather force me to stay stagnant or regress on the me that I was yesterday. Like Monica said, “I am not who I was yesterday” and therefore my pledge to myself, is that with each new breath that I take, I will do my hardest to make it as true to myself as I possibly can, and in so doing, be true to those that care about me. So here starts my countdown to 2010, to a better me…