Ode to true friendship

Now that I have stopped complaining about all the sadness that surrounds my life, I feel enlightened! i am blessed with some of the greatest friends that I know without them, my life would not be what it is today.I would still be depressed, sad or confused. Through my hardest heartbreak, my friends strength gave me strength. So this blog is dedicated to those that know me better than I know myself sometimes, to those that have helped me grow into my own, and have shown me that with a little love and patience(hahaha Kass) all things are possible. The wind beneath the wings that allow me to soar and fly above...
Those closest to me, all have 3 qualities in common. First and foremost, honesty. There is nothing more refreshing than having someone in your life who is able to step back from the responses they know you want and give you the responses they know you need. A friend who knows knows when to nod and agree with your stupid suggestions such as torching your ex boyfriends car, and shaking you to come back to your senses when you claim you are sooo hungry you could eat an entire cow. (cause clearly only a good friend could know which one makes sense and which one doesnt) Second quality is 'syncness' if that is even a word. But honestly how many people in your lives do you not need to finish your every thought with. A person who when you are at your bitchiest does not hang up the phone but rather bitches back till you both hysterically laughing and you do not know why! And last but not least is trust. A true friendship requires that you love and trust someone completely that you would not second guess them with your hardest decisions, you call them without realizing and they are there even after the times you neglected them when you were all focused on your previous boyfriend.
I have many people in my life that could fall into 2 of 3 categories and only a few that possess all three. To those few that know what mood Im in by my hello, know im nervous based on what i order on the value menu, and know to give me space based on what is playing on my ipod, i want to say thank you. Thank you for being a part of my life and i hope i can be that friend that you are to me for eternity.

with love.... on christmas

If one more person says to me, “Seasons Greetings”, I might have to jump off the nearest 5 storey building. It is not that I am not happy that it’s the festive season , but what happened to the true meaning of Christmas. What Season am I getting greeted for, WINTER?? For me, It has become so commercial, so unrelated to what we are meant to be celebrating: The birth of Jesus! Holiday traffic is ridiculous and what is even worse is people are not going to church, but to the mall to PURCHASE something that they will give away as a gift, only because at Christmas that is what you do, give gifts. People that do not even believe in God, walking around ‘spreading holiday cheer’… but I ask FOR WHAT REASON! I remember growing up, in my family Christmas was the best time EVER not because I got presents, (Cause I hardly ever did, lol) but because it was a time I knew that my entire family would be together. It was the one time, we would all gather, sing songs on end and just appreciate the love we all shared as a family in a Christian home. I am not the BEST Christian in the world, I ask thousands of questions, and to some that have been answered to me I don’t like the answer. But I acknowledge that I am indeed, a child of God, and through all my faults, God walks with me, and never has given up on me, regardless of how mad I know I make him sometimes. For this unconditional love, I REFUSE to use such an important time for commercial use and gain. The gifts that I give will be out of love and respect, and the true value of Christmas, I will try focus on my growth through my journey to become a virtuous woman through my actions. I am not perfect, and not at all without sin, But I strive to believe and to appreciate that sacrifices were made, so I could walk this earth today.



So I wish you a Merry Christmas, and urge you to spend time with those that you love and to be a blessing onto others, as you would want them to be a blessing on you, because TOMORROW, is never promised.

Radom thoughts. . .

So this year is one of those years that I am not MAD to see end! I look back at 2009 with sadness, admiration and a sense of fulfillment. Sadness based on the fact that seeing the feelings that were inside me and the motions I went through would cause even the most unsympathetic person to be moved greatly. I believe in our lives, the Lord never tests us more than we can handle, but this year…. I felt like he had simply forgotten to turn off the “still testing Tatenda” button and he had it all the way up on the highest possible level. I felt a deep rooted feeling of loneliness that knew no bounds and was masked with the brightest smile, any angel could effortlessly provide. The admiration is based on that through everything, even the moments that were felt as though should be the last…there was a glimmer of hope that kept me functioning and allowed me to trudge through the dirt and onto the next. And last but not least the fulfillment, because now that I have cleansed myself of the self doubt the fear, and let go of the things that weighed heaviest on me, I realize I gave myself freedom. Freedom to believe in my potential.



It is crazy that in the centre of all the seriousness in our lives, an issue that everyone both loves and hates is that that deals with matters of the heart. I am no exception, as much as I do not care about much, when it comes to my feelings being hurt, I am not all smiles. I came to a realization though, and I may have already talked about this but like I said, I WAS THINKING: So many people have the “OR” factor and never the “AND”. By this I mean, so often people meet a certain aspect of what you feel you want but then lack in large part the other part. I’ll use my wants as an illustration. My “type” of guy is that dude, who is a dude. A man who is tough, not only looking but thinks tough. And I do not mean he is thinking of killing people, but rather possesses the complex rationale that has me intrigued and inspires me to elevate my thinking. The latter part of this year I have been living the life of a single young lady and half the guys that presented themselves either look as tough as I want them to, but lack that mental that is very important. I understand it is not a lacklessness in the guys that I meet, but that they are just not for me. In 2009 I realized that too often in my life I allow the not worthy aspects of my character and life get main attraction by dealing with the guys that do not elevate me but rather force me to stay stagnant or regress on the me that I was yesterday. Like Monica said, “I am not who I was yesterday” and therefore my pledge to myself, is that with each new breath that I take, I will do my hardest to make it as true to myself as I possibly can, and in so doing, be true to those that care about me. So here starts my countdown to 2010, to a better me…

FIGHT AGAINST AIDS. . .

Tragedies have come through the years but nothing has taken over as the HIV/AIDS epidemic. For every 1 person having sex at a given second, 1.8 lives are lost to HIV/AIDS. Are people even aware that AIDS stands for “Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome”? Do people know that a person can live years with the virus, but not have contracted AIDS? How is it possible that in this day and age one of the world’s top killers still does not get the adequate attention that it should?

How can people still live their lives in such disregard by not practicing safe sex? How can people put their lives as well as the lives of others on a balance by being promiscuous? Each and every one of us has either known a relative, friend, or acquaintance or even heard about a stranger who has lost their life to HIV/AIDS. I can speak first hand on how painful it is to watch someone lose their very existence. Come from a healthy, active person, to a frail child-like vessel without an ounce of strength to lift up their hand and eat: to wither away to a state of nothingness.

In a world overwhelmed with sex, there seems to be a discord between the euphoric feelings and sensations that lead people to being sexually active, and the heart wrenching deterioration of him/her that becomes an AIDS victim. I feel it is the responsibility of each and every one of us to know our status. And from there actively advocate for safe sex and awareness of HIV/AIDS. We talk about being the generation of change, why then can we not change the fate we are headed for, by becoming a part of the solution rather than the means for the cause!? World AIDS day is December 1st, and yes whilst not all of us believe in going out and standing up for a cause through community service, each can make a personal pledge to get tested, know their status and wrap it up! Elizabeth Taylor said, “It is bad enough people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance.” So I challenge everyone, to be safer, to be wiser and to be an active member in this fight against AIDS.

What is this. . .

Lingering eye contact, hand holding, kisses on the cheek, tongue kissing, why is our world so consumed by sex. My friend and I were talking about how relationships seem to be the new fashion accessory, and everyone “is rocking” it. However, as we all know just because something is in fashion does not mean that EVERYONE should be trying it. I mean, we all know there are some people who have no business wearing low cut shirts, strapless clothes, and skinny jeans even are not for everyone, period. And this latest fashion accessory, “relationships” is not for everyone either. Sometimes, when it works its like those perfect pair of shoes that complete an outfit, HOWEVER, sometimes its like that awkward bright pink shirt that that manly dude should just not be wearing. It seems like somehow, someway people just decided to stop with standards and expectations and have straight up lost it.



Females have thrown away the aspect of class, and clearly some misunderstand the meaning of sexy and sassy. Every guy has become an option when we know that aint how it should be. There is no need to be an ignorant trick to get yours, and lately that is all I see. It seems like the sluttier and less educated the women are the more guys they attract, and sadly now that every other Jane has caught onto this, we see an influx of less smart slutty Jane infiltrating the scene. I mean, I am not sitting here saying don’t be a slut if that’s what you feel is in your spirit, but don’t do it to do it.


Then my dear black men. What is going on? Since when was a female meant to bend over backwards to impress you and you do not show no kind of appreciation. I am so sick of hearing, “COME SEE ME!” “WHEN YOU COMING TO KICK IT WITH ME” “WHEN ARE YOU….” Well let me just answer every question that begins with “when are you….” Ummmm NEVER! Did you miss the lesson when they told you your woman is your heart, your support, and you should treat her as you would want someone to treat your mother? The woman is meant to be chased period. I understand not every woman appreciates that but come on now, let her tell her that aint what she into…Don’t assume! Obviously, lots of y’all missed that lesson cause women are walking around bruised, battered and broken. That is simply NOT a good look. What happened to good old respect for each other, love and compassion, commitment and fun. A relationship is not a 9-5, it’s a support system that you chose to be a part of so don’t act like you got forced into it… I’m just saying…

In my mind...

Every once in a while, I believe we go through moments where we are forced to STOP, and see that each moment that we alive is a blessing; a gift. Those moments of clarity have you feeling so incredibly drained because the emotion is seeping through you from all angles gushing through your veins like an open wound. Consuming your every thought like a poisonous fume. Unrelenting. I just recently understood that, indeed, life is a series of moments and those moments turn into events, and once that moment has passed, there is no turning back and try get it back. So why do we exert so much energy trying to relive the moment that happened a moment ago, and why do we not realize we are losing this moment and letting it turn into a memory when we denied ourselves the option to live it. I have woken up to a newness, a new attitude to life, a person that is not in search of friendships but rather appreciates the true ones that she has. I am no longer feeling lost, nor am I feeling lonely, because I am not a single being, and I am not lost because through this journey I never walk alone. I can’t expect a change in the people that I let into my life If I do not take responsibility for the part that I am the one letting randoms into it. I am too wise to let people that I believe are my friends hold me back, I am too confident to let people try bring me down. I am on a mission, I can succeed, and the Lord knows I will because I have already accomplished, I have already achieved. I am tired of caring too much, and yet exhausted by my lack of emotion. I feel like a walking contradiction, a piece of jumbled art. I no longer want to want. I no longer have a desire to need, rather a drive to BECOME envelops me, and takes over my entire being. I am a vessel, and my purpose will be realized. I no longer care to just exist, I choose to live.

WHAT...WHAT....WHAT....

So y'all should already know I blog when something is on my mind! And YESSS.....something is on my mind!!! K, so foreal tho...first T.I and now they tryin to put my Wayne in JAIL! man....I mean do we not have real problems? Excuse me Mr. Sherriff sir that arrested Lil Wayne on that bus incident in New York in 2007, have you found Osama Bin Laden???? No??? You haven??? Oh right, you were busy looking for "illegal substances" in Wayne's bus! k K K....I own the fact that YES, he shoulda ben not had a gun on the bus, but DID ANYONE die??? IM COOL! All my friends and Family are cool, Lil wayne aint shoot none of them! So WHATS THE PROBLEM! (And if he did it was probably cause they were in his way)
I am not angry and disgruntled as I was before because I realize that Weezy is going to channel all his emotions into his music and is going to leave us with a mixtape each month of his jail term. WHAT! y'all can't stop greatness.....

Im just saying!!!!

Man... What's going on?

I MEAN… what is going on! My heart is heavy and tired, and I aint even going through anything personally and yet I’m going through everything! It jus dawned on me as I sat watching the news that in the last several months I have found myself sending my condolences to countless people. And over the same time frame, condolences have been offered to me! WHAT IS THIS????? I am 22 years old and I do not remember a time other than now where the phrase “tomorrow is never promised” falls as true as it does now. One day people are here, the next day they are gone. One moment, you are on the phone with someone and the next your phone is ringing with news that they passed. One second you’re sharing a joke with someone and the next you are hugging their mom and trying to figure out the how, when and the why you just laid them to rest. I know I have blogged about this before but damn…. Death is real, and it’s become more and more apparent!!!!!

And what is this violence that overwhelms society. And I’m not even going to spin this and make this a racial issue cause, everyone is a victim. The story about Derrion Albert is the most recent. This boy was beaten senseless and died for what reason?! By his peers? Really? What makes it ok for someone to wake up angry and decide to take another’s life? There is nothing cool about that! There is nothing that shouts out HERO in that action. Why are people being shot left right and center? I MEAN DAMN… what’s going on. As though AIDS and diabetes needed help killing off the masses!

My heart aches at the fact that every good action is contended by several bad ones. Bad choices, Ignorant minds flood our very own society. And yet we the “sane” ones sit, read the stories, shake our heads, and click over to the entertainment pages to find out about the Odom-Kardashian wedding!!!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON??????

SMH…. My heart aches!

iTune You...

SO…. I realized I have been fooling you all…. BECAUSE…..


I am in love and his name is music. Music understands me, enables me, supports me, drives me, basically what I’m trying to say is my love for music is definitely that special type of love. This is one of those loves that if it were to be lost would require extensive therapy because I know my life will no longer be, the life I lead for it revolves around my music. Love or obsession, I wonder, for it is my centrifugal force, my pivot, my shelter, my armor, my muse, the creator of my swag. Music is everything I need, because it takes me as I am and does not care whether I sing like an angel or am as tone deaf as a rabbit. Music is my best friend, my confidant, my inspiration, and my unfailing love. Through all my many bipolar motions, my twists and turns that this journey through life takes me, the only earthly element that allows me to figure myself out, and gives me the strength to evaluate my inner self is… music. Music is rough, raw and real when I need it to be. This brings out the strength in me, the Tatenda that I am not afraid to show. But it also elevates me to a point where I feel as though I’m near divinity, and in the presence of holiness. Which leads to the softer and more creative side that cries and yearns to be understood . The side the rest of the world will probably never fully comprehend.


 Music for me fills in my blanks…the words I’m either unable or afraid to speak, I can always find a song to replace these lapses with. I have a friend that teases me and tells me all the time that I am a walking music library, because I think through music. I live through music. Each statement in my daily conversations triggers the thought of a song. My step is always in synch with the beat in my head. Be it when my head is bowed down and my walk is sluggish, or when I’m at my best and my walk is fully loaded… music walks with me. My most beloved memories have a soundtrack, my first kiss, the moment I realized I was in love, (actually both instances) all replay to the music in my heart.


Music is that source of light that allows my collage of life to shine and glow. It is my harmony in a world full of discord. The freedom giver in a time where we all seem to be held by some kind of social shackle. One of my favorite quotes is by Berthold Auerbach a German – Jewish poet, he says “Music washes away from the soul, the dust of everyday life.” Be it the dust from some type of failure, disappointment or any kind of adversity that leads to heartbreak. But it also is the sunshine, the kindness, the sincerity that leads to the fondest of memories.


So hear my declaration one more time, I am in love….and his name is …Music.

here's to you...

Silence overwhelms me…. And that probably explains my fear of death. To never speak another word, to never be heard again. As I grow older, death has become more and more a part of my life….and each time I feel it creep closer and closer to me. I feel like I am living on borrowed time. I love so fiercely and fervently that part of my fear when faced with the reality of death is the idea that I will leave a loved one in pain. Someone will feel the loss that I have felt much too often when someone I love is taken much too soon. The physical pain that rips at my heart is the most undeserving feeling I have yet known to feel. To fully explain would take too long because the words I could never accurately find.



As far back as I remember I have been haunted by this one dream. There I stand looking over my own lifeless body. The wind blowing leaves all over the place and nothing looks familiar to me. Confused, unaware, numbed by disbelief. I stare at my own face. Then somewhere in the distance, I hear my mom’s sweet voice singing. I frantically search for her, worried that some harm has come to her. I pass a clearing and there she is bent over my very own motionless body. My mom is knelt over me, tears streaming down her face and yet her voice is calm and unfaltering and betrays the overwhelming look of desolation painted on her face. She has obviously just lost her youngest offspring, her daughter, her friend, and still her strength refuses to fail her. My father stands over her, his head bowed down, and yet still from where I stand I can see the anguish in his eyes, utter pain. My mouth moves and my head yells that I am ok, but no audible words escape my quivering lips. I am perplexed by disbelief. I look to see if I can recognize some faces in the crowd that stands around my parents. It’s my family and friends and I can feel my own heart shatter as I see and hear them weep for me as my mom leads them in song.


If I was to fall off the side of a cliff, and I am hanging on, will there be someone there to help me up? What will people say about me when I pass? What will people remember about me? Will people miss my presence? And will my memories last through several decades or will I be forgotten within a week? Have I loved selflessly? Am I loved undoubtedly?


I do not want to leave this here earth with regrets. I want to live every day of my life as though it were my last. So lately, I have been appreciating my friendships a little more, and, I think I am starting to realize that although REAL and TRUE friends are rare, I have people that support me. I have figured out the people we work so hard to impress are the ones that really aren’t worth impressing. True friends stay when the tough gets going and those that we usually work so hard to impress go when the tough times roll in. However, I am learning to look at both sides of every story. And I must sell the same product that I want to buy; hence this is my pledge to be a better friend. I’m going to love more aggressively, listen more passionately, and be a positive light in all my loved ones lives. I am going to nurture each relationship in my life so if the Lord takes either me or one of them unexpectedly, I won’t cry for words and feelings that went unshared. But rather rejoice for the time that was shared and appreciated. As always, I leave you with a quote, and this one is from Maria Robinson, she said “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

My Ugly Truth. . .

RELATIONSHIPS!!!! Hate them…. Love them… they still exist right! I feel like somebody should hand us a handbook when we first decide to date that lets us know that once you embark on this journey, there’s no turning back! And on the front cover of each manual in big bold letters should be a warning sign that simply states “NOT RECOMMENDED FOR THE FAINT HEARTED”, because frankly it isn’t! I consider myself a pretty strong woman. I am smart. I am wise. I know how to take care of myself. I, (if you ask me) am the ideal woman! Why then do I find myself in the same place as everyone, else, Confused. And non- believing.
I have a theory…. Allow me to explain it. I KNOW what I want in a man. I want a compassionate, charismatic, caring, man who is STRONG enough to stand BY me. Not behind me, not in front of me, but NEXT to me. Easy right! I know my Mr. Right! But what gives me the audacity to have such high expectations when I myself am a work in progress. I know for a fact, in my last relationship I had all these ideas and wonderful thoughts on how me and him would be. We were so amazing together and I know and still to this day I believe, there was real love resided there. However, I did not see the how to, I only focused on the WILL. I expected him to be the person that I wanted him to be in our “future” lives. I put undue pressure on him… He thought I didn’t believe in him, and need I say more… HE IS AN EX. I do not apologize nor do I feel bad for having these thoughts and expectations nor do I blame him for not being adequate, however, I do acknowledge that there are things we could have done better. Nurtured our love and allowed it a chance to make mistakes and still grow. I went into that relationship knowing what kind of person he was and where he was on his maturity and growth phase in life. I knew what his vices were… and still I dove right in. HEAD FIRST and heart all open. Hence it is my bad that I landed HEAD FIRST on a hard surface. I got hurt, broken and for a while I didn’t think I would stand up again.
I deter from my point, but I know many people have felt this way. Why do we fall in love, and get our hearts broken? Think about this for a second; If you shop at the dollar store, and you looking for a GUCCI purse chances are, u gonna leave with DUCCI. Almost GUCCI but the reality is, it’s just an imitation. That’s what we are all doing right now… shopping at the dollar store. Relationships, or rather, dating, have become so impersonal, especially with the introduction of terms like “casual dating” “open relationships” or “kicking it”. We look for surface deep gratification, don’t dig far enough within ourselves to figure out that that person is not gonna be our satisfaction. We live through our hopeless notions and ideas during the honeymoon phase, then when reality hits, we inevitably end up with our heads and hearts all over the hard surface.
I do not claim to be an expert on anything, especially matters of the heart. But if my words are my strength, allow me to empower you by saying true love is not some kind of substance in the air. You can not catch it, and actually I don’t believe it can be “figured out”. True love exists within ourselves. It is easier to find the perfect partner for you if you can identify who yourself are. Stop blaming all your heartache on other people because the common factor in all your failed relationships is you. Love you so other people can see the real reason why loving you is worth it. I leave you with a quote from an anonymous source, “Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart into it, take yourself out of it.”
~LOVE.LIVE.LEARN~

My dear Love,
I know you love me, but why do you not like me? All my life you have been there, not necessarily with me at all times, but always somewhere humming and buzzing, so even though I may not have seen you, I knew you were there. As a child you cared for me, nurtured me and protected me from all the evils you could. But I do not blame you for the evils that seeped into my life.The evil took charge, you disappeared. I grasped for your love, and yet I was left alone….cold. The evils that haunt me stil caused me such pain and distress…. But my dear love, I do not blame you. I would have left me too.
My dear love, as I grew older you came to me in many forms. You loved me so! You helped me grow. Countless times I did not love you back, the times I took you for granted. Is that when you decided I wasn’t worthy of your trust. I know I hurt you but I wish I knew then what I know now. All I needed was your strong embrace around me at night. To protect me and guide me through all the things I was not prepared to face. I needed you and you were there, but I let you go. I reached out to you and you would reach out to me…. Until one day you did not reach back. My hand was left out in the cold, did you not love me back?
My dear love, how then can you blame me for not recognizing you when you came back to me. With no warning, you simply appeared. My knight on a silver cloud, my warmth on a cold dreary winter morning. The manifestation I had dreamt long and hard about, the ideology that one day I had hoped to meet. My whole life I had yearned for you. I had needed you so much before you would think I would have instantly acknowledged your presence, your genuineness, and your desire to be the one. But, your love overwhelmed me. Your sincerity consumed me. Why did you love Me? Why was it so easy for you to let me in, and why did you take the time to care for me. I was terrified but I embraced you. I loved you with everything I had in me. I let you in in channels of my mind, my soul, I thought were locked and sealed….. My dear love. I loved you.
But like when I was little, the outside percolated into our circle of trust. I thought you loved me enough to stick around… But you bolted. Again… my dear love you left me. Again I was left out in the cold. Again I was left wondering, why my dear love do you not like me? indeed ... Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.Each time you left me, a piece of me left with you. Each time you let me down, I lost a bit of me. But my dear love, I cannot wait around for you any longer. I cannot force you to love me when you clearly don’t like me in return. As a child you abandoned me, and now as a grown up you had me fooled and left me bleeding. I cannot let you slow me down anymore. My life is my very own rose garden, in the past I have let you in just as I began to blossom and because I was not strong enough I let you stifle my growth. I have learnt my lesson, and now I will not let you tear my petals off. Don’t look for me my dear love, I will call you when my rose garden is fully blossomed.

Why?

So unafraid to speak and yet so terrified to listen. The absence of my silence means I have an escape from the pressure of having to hear… and not be heard. Because with hearing comes acknowledgement and isn’t that the ammunition that later fuels the fire of disappointment. If only I was the solitary being that had the ability to speak in this whole entire universe, then only I could be heard, and I would be the reason for my own heartache. I would rather fall victim to my own voice, then only I would be to blame. However, since life has not dealt me such a lucky hand, I find myself in the midst of thousands of webs of deceit that have been woven around me. Wound so ardently that all the violence, starvation, pain and sorrow stems from one of these unruly webs. I refuse to be a victim of circumstance. I cannot let the world dispense the dark cards of an ugly fate that so many have fallen prey to. I am learning to show humanity that I do not fear man, but God. I am my own individual, I am my only I that knows how to live MY life. With the world having no control over me, I have no expectations, no let downs and most importantly no grievances.
Why do I write you may be wondering? What is my purpose?
What frustrates me is not the inability to distance my own self from the rest of the world, but rather the fact that I am secure within myself and yet, no difference in the world have I been able to make. Why can I not wave a magic wand and heal those weakened by diseases, dry the eyes of a hungry orphan that has been left alone due to parents inability to protect themselves from HIV/AIDS. I have all of me still with me, no ailments and definitely no hunger. Why then can I not be an ear to a desperate voice, a cushion to a falling soul and an answer to questions that invade all mankind.

Hear me...

I caught myself wondering on what the definition of strength is. I searched for one that would suffice, and found myself at a loss. Strength can not be defined by how physical you can get, nor can it be measured by the amount of pain you can inflict on others.... Strength is, I believe, the ability to face adversity with an open mind, to acknowledge the fear and still figure out how to beat the odds. Everyday thousands and thousands of people find themselves waking up in the same hell that they fell asleep in and hoped to escape. Countless of women do not have the strength to stand up to the abuser and say ENOUGH! Millions of children go to bed hungry without bein given an explanation on why they have not eaten in days. Men go to sleep crying with the fear that the life they have chosen is going to be the death of them.


My eyes are slowly opening... and pain blinds me already. Like a newborn baby who just opened their eyes and for the first time SEE'S the world that till now has only been heard. I open my eyes and I become aware of the pain that has been surrounding. 65% of children in Africa have been orphaned and are now children of the system. 55% of women in relationships are being accused either sexually, mentally or physically, And only 45% of black men graduate and earn a degree at a tertiary level.


What happened to us being the generation of CHANGE. Will our children be born into a world that we ourselves have managed to taint with, sex violence and no kind of true achievement. The older generations are proud to tell their grandchildren that they survived the civil rights movement, apartheid and world wars. What can my generation be proud of, killing real music and discovering autotunes??? Well I REFUSE to lay down and become another puppet in this degrading world. I want to see the light again, I want to lend a hand to a struggling child, I want to empower a woman who needs to find the STRENGTH within herself to pack up her bag and leave her abusive husband. I don't want to die and jus become another tombstone in the graveyard. I want to make a difference, I need to be heard. I want to make a difference:-)